Milton Bradley is clubhouse Ebola

He is worse than a clubhouse cancer, he spreads through and infects everything around him. Bradley is like that black virus thing from Spiderman 3, he slinks around and turns Tobey Maguire into evil Spiderman. No, that doesn't make any sense.
Let me try again. Just like Spiderman 3, I can't wait for Bradley's Cubs career to be over.
He has been his usual self, spouting off to the media after games this past week.
"My family is there I have people I can talk to who are very supportive, in spite of everything and all the adversity and the hatred I face on a daily basis." He is probably referring to my daily e-mails and threatening postcards.
"All I'm saying is I pray the game is nine innings, so I can go out there the least amount of time possible and go home," Really Milton, you are a big-league player and this is your attitude? You get paid 10 million a year to play a child's game badly and this is the way you look at it.

ESPN's Gene Wojciechowski recently wrote an article about how the Cubs fans are being "racist" in their treatment of Midnight Bradley. This of course, is ridiculous. The two most beloved Cubs of all time are Sosa and Ernie Banks. The most hated Chicago athlete of recent memory is Rex Gossman. It's not about race, its about performance on the field and attitude. Darkness Bradley has brought the boos on himself by playing terribly and have a bad attitude over the course of the season. The other Cubs players have underperformed and deserve blame; Soto, Zambrano, Fontenot, Gregg, Soriano, and Miles have all had terrible seasons as well. The difference is that Kanye Bradley is more vocal and demonstrative about his poor performance. That's why he has become the scapegoat for the Cubs failed season.

This Week in Golf

PGA Tour - The first round of the PGA Tour Playoffs is contested this week at a new venue, Liberty National in Jersey City, New Jersey. It is a breathtaking new course designed in part by Tom Kite. The Manhattan skyline and the Statue of Liberty are only a couple hundred yards off many of the holes along the Hudson River. Tiger Woods is in the field and is, therefore, the favorite to win the Barclays. However, the vast majority of the top 125 players this season are also competing this week. I expect a good showdown as I anxiously wait to see more of this exciting golf course. Mike Weir will serve as my sleeper pick this week. I want to see him get hot before the President's Cup at Harding Park in a few weeks. The Playoffs last for four tournaments over the next five weeks. Golfers in the top 125 in the points race got in to the event this week. They retain their points from the regular season, and only the top 100 on the points list get into next week's tourney in Boston. The catch is that the points are quintupled for Playoff events. So a top ten this week would go a long way for anyone towards the bottom of the list right now. CBS will broadcast this week.

US Amateur - The USGA's top amateur championship is being played this week in Tulsa, Oklahoma at a familiar track in Southern Hills. The medal play portion of the tournament has already been completed with 50-year-old Tim Jackson of Tennessee earning medalist's honors. It has definitely been a timeless year between Jackson here, Watson at Turnberry, and Kenny at Augusta. Semifinal matches will be played on Saturday, and the 36-hole final will be battled on Sunday. We'll have to pull for Illinois boy, Zach Barlow, but he still has a lot between him and the finals. My pick to win was Bob Tway's boy, but he lost in the first round. NBC televises USGA events.

Fantasy Football Insurance. Every family should have it.

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, the 12 horsemen are on their way and we should be looking out for that Antichrist. And by that I mean there is now Fantasy Football Insurance. Let's say you are in a big time fantasy league and you are worried about one or more of your top players going down to injury, thus ruining your season. Fantasy Football Insurance allows you to get back your monetary losses from league fees and such. This will certainly bring great joy and relief to many households across the USA.
Listen little Timmy, we can't afford to get you braces because Daddy decided he wanted to insure Tom Brady for his Fairytale Football league.
There is an opportunity to abuse this, where there is insurance, there is insurance fraud. You could draft Carson Palmer or somebody, take out an enormous insurance policy and just sit back and collect on his inevitable downfall. Or even better, draft Brett Farve, take out the insurance policy, sneak into the locker room, and break both of his legs. Everybody wins. Except the insurance company and the Vikings.

Let the Diabetic Jew play

Slammin' Sammy Fuld has been racing around the outfield this past weekend for the Cubs, turning in a sensational defensive series with several amazing catches, running into a fence, and robbing Manny of a homer. However, the Cubbies are now 8 games out of first place with 5 1/2 weeks to go and they need to do something in the hopes of making a playoff push. Soriano is 5 for his last 43 and has not homered since July 29th and Milton Bradley has continued to be Milton Bradley, it's clearly time to make some changes.
Fuld, who is a Jew with diabetes (much to the delight of Ron Santo), has gotten it done at the plate as well, batting .283 with a .397 on base %. Jake Fox, another Iowa call-up is hitting .305 with 9 HR and 34 RBI in only 151 at-bats. That's the same number of HR, with 3 more RBI than Bradley in less than half as many at-bats. The Cubs are paying their outfield (Fukudome, Bradley, Soriano) $36.5 million this year, but the bottom line is they are not getting the job done. Lou needs to play Fuld and Fox because it gives them the best chance to win, regardless of how much you are paying players to sit on the bench. In summary, here is a list of players who I would prefer to never see again in a Cubs uniform.
1. Aaron Freaking Miles
2. Soriano
3. Milton Bradley
4. Kevin Gregg
5. Bob Howry, I know he's not on the team anymore but I just wanted say it, although I believe he might still be on the team wearing goggles and claiming to be Kevin Gregg.

Best and Worst College Logos

Worst

1. Stanford Cardinal, really sets the standard for lameness. A tree, how splendidly inoffensive. And their dancing tree mascot is so queer it makes the Phillie Phanatic look like the guy from Dos Equis commercials.

2. Northwestern Wildcats. First of all, the wildcat looks like it was drawn by a 4 year old. Second of all, the Wildcat is a total cliche, every other sports team has it, and there are definantly no Wildcats native to Evanston. The Northwestern Med Students, or the Northwestern Yuppie Pricks would be more apt. To cap it all off they decided to go with the gross shade of purple. Truly Awful.

3. Western Kentucky Hilltoppers. I think it has Downs Syndrome. They call it "Big Red", just complete lack of imagination. How do you get from Hilltoppers to a giant red thing? Its the lovechild of Grimace and Clifford the big red dog.

4. Clemson Tigers. Similar to Northwestern, very unoriginal Tigers nickname. Equally uninspiring pawprint logo. It would work for an elementary school logo.  Or Mahomet.

5. Syracuse Orange. They were known as the Orangemen until they decided that it was too controversial and changed it to the Orange. I'm not sure if it stands for the color or the fruit. I'm pretty sure that I don't care.

Best

1. Fighting Illini Chief. RIP. There is no better jersey than the late 80's early 90's basketball jerseys with Fighting Illini on the chest and the chief logo on the shorts.

2. Texas Longhorns. I don't really like Texas, but the burnt orange and white is so classy. Their white football jerseys are the best in sports right now.

3. South Carolina Gamecocks. Its 2009 and in South Carolina anything goes. A gamecock is a rooster bred for fighting, and apperently that's okay. It's hillarious when cheerleaders hold up signs that say gamecocks. I thought it was funny when I was 12 and I still think it's funny.

4. UNLV Runnin' Rebels. There is a lot to love about UNLV. Keon Clark's Alma Mater, Lon Kruger's current school, really original nickname, great mustache. There is no better nickname for a sweet basketball team that pushes the ball.

5. Texas Christian Horned Frogs. LDT's alma mater does well to go with the horned frog. Pretty scary looking animal. I would like to see it fight the South Carolina Gamecock. Then the Runnin' Rebel could eat the loser.