Sunday, January 10, 2010

Hollywood Gone Gridiron

With the kickoff of the NFL Playoffs and Bears fans on the outside looking, I figured I would give all you football fans something to read about. When I was in high school, a buddy of mine and I created a team on that year's Madden game made up of fitting movie characters. The only rule was that the characters couldn't be football players in sports movies. Today I unveil that team to you (or as close to memory as I can get it). Feel free to post your own amendments to the lineup. 

The Team


QB Jason Bourne (Bourne trilogy): He's as sharp as Peyton Manning and as agile as Vince Young. A Bourne leader (I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself.)

HB Blade (Blade)

FB Bruce Wayne (Batman Begins):

WR James Darrel Edwards III (Men in Black): Check out the chase scene at the beginning of the movie.

WR Jake Sully's Avatar (Avatar): I hate to put a guy on my team from such a lackluster film, but this guy's too gifted to leave off.

TE Bud White (L.A. Confidential): You have to find a spot for this guy on your team. He's a gamer.

LT Marv (Sin City)

LG Seth Ryan (American History X)

C Chief Bromden (One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest): Affirmative Action

RG Walter Sobchak (The Big Lebowski): It's a good thing games aren't on Shomer Shabbos.

RT Frank Farmer (The Bodyguard): I don't know how this guy became a bodyguard, but I figured I had to put him on the line. 


MLB Maximus Decimus Meridius (Gladiator): He's jacked, relentless, and has experience leading a team into battle. "Are you not entertained."

OLB Derek Vinyard (American History X): Just watch the movie. 

OLB John McClain (Die Hard): Yippie kay yay... 

CB Tyler Durdin (Fight Club): I don't trust his hands, but he has all the tools to lock someone down.

CB V (V for Vendetta)

FS Neo (Matrix): His quickness could be utilized in many ways. Jumping routes shouldn't be too hard when the ball is in slow motion.

SS Jake Hoyt (Training Day): Roger only remembers the best.

RE John Coffey (The Green Mile): You don't want this guy coming at your blind side.

DT Rocky Balboa (Rocky IV): You need a heart of lion on the line.

DT Drake Sabitch (Black Sheep): Or Gary Busey in real life.

LE The Bear Jew (Inglourious Basterds)


  1. Ernie Watters and I would have to suggest consideration at QB for The Patriot's Benjamin Martin (Mel Gibson). The accuracy with which he hurls that tomahawk has to count for something. I believe the British also referred to him as a ghost for his speed and maneuverability. I would recommend Ernie himself with his incredible arm if he was an actor.

  2. That's a solid pick, and you make a good case. But I consider Bourne my prize jewel on the team. However, if I could pick Ernie, it wouldn't even be a question.

  3. How can Pootie Tang not find a place on your roster????


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