What the F happened to Stephon Marbury

So I am just sitting here, thinking to myself, what is the weirdest piece of crap I could blog about for my first entry into the wonderful world of Free Keon (Krehbiel, you are a God), and my first instinct went to screwed up athletes. For those of us that follow this blog, sports has become a pseudo-religion, and that got my mind racing on which athlete was most likely to start up his own cult. The answer that came to me quicker than Petey getting a hard on during a Russel Crowe movie was Stephon Marbury. For those of you that haven't seen Starbury's recent Ustream catastrophe (by the way, Ustream and Twitter are both signs that the apocolypse is upon us, I swear to God that Chad Johnson is the AntiChrist), you can check out some of the most insane parts here: complete B.S. This is just freakin' unbelievable. This is an man that is making over $21 million a year, has averaged over 19 points a game for his NBA career, was a two time NBA all-star, and represented the United States on an Olympic basketball team. Now he has been reduced to sobbing like a beotch during an R&B song and eating Vaseline. I can't explain it...it's like watching a car accident. You don't want to see the results, but oddly, you can't take your eyes off it. The worst part about this is that this kind of thing is becoming commonplace. You have a bunch of overpayed, too young, immature kids coming out of poor living situations, doing nothing but supporting their posse, overspending out of control, and becoming a cancer to their team and a black eye to whatever league they're in. (As for Krehbiel and me, we can trace this back to a single man...Curtis Conway. This man ushered in an era of pricks in the NFL that has led to a trickle down effect in each league.)

We need to remember, however, that this is a man that does have some good qualities to him. He tried to produce shoes that are affordable to kids that grew up in the hood like him, he donates quite a bit of money to inner city schools, and has even been named to the Sporting News's "Good Guys in Sports" list three times. (Three times more than Kobe Bryant shockingly, and yes, there is some actual research going into this blog). For me, this enhances his occult attraction...you cannot be the leader of a group of nut jobs without coming off as the good guy in some respects. This is why the answer clearly cannot be Ron Artest (just a complete idiot), Kobe Bryant (rapist), or as much as we love him Keon Clark (just too freakin awesome and possibly the drugs). So for me, the answer is Stephon Marbury, and the first member of his cult would probably be his cousin, Sebastian Telfair, but that's just a shot in the dark. And this is what is great about blogs, we can actually discuss it, so if anyone, whether member or not, has a better athlete (I doubt it, but I'm open to suggestions), throw it out there and I'll mock your logic mercilessly because there is no one out there better than Stephon Marbury.

Peace Brooklyn

The Bartman legacy

ESPN recently announced that as part of their upcoming 30 for 30 documentary series they have commissioned an hour-long film on 2003 Cubs villain Steve Bartman. The documentary will answer the question "Can Steve Bartman forgive Chicago".

The question that Cubs fans should be asking is why is the media continuing to shove the Bartman story at us? At the time of the incident, Fox Sports was all over Bartman with coverage. Repeatedly zooming in on him and reshowing the imfamous play. We found out his name and specific details about him before the game was even over. Ever since there has been an inordinate amount of media coverage on Bartman from ESPN and in the Chicago media outlets.

The person that should be thankful for all the attention Bartman has received is Alex Gonzalez the Cubs shortstop at the time. Gonzalez booted a routine grounder that should have ended the inning with a 3-1 Chicago lead and left the Cubs 3 outs away from their first World Series since 1945. Somehow, over the years Gonzalez has avoided the "goat" label that has hounded Bill Buckner for letting a crucial grounder roll through his legs in the 1986 World Series. The media has created a culture where Bartman was blamed and the Cubs players were let off the hook. This documentary cannot undo the legacy that ESPN has already given Bartman.

There should be a Gordon Beckham Day

I've officially decided that Gordon Beckham can do anything. After being called up midway through his first season in the minors, he looks as good a hitter as anyone else on the South side (.311 BA, 17 doubles, 5 HR, and 36 RBI in 52 games). That's not to mention that he already has a game-winning RBI--once an official MLB statistic--against the cross-town rival Cubs. Beckham has also been playing out of position since he arrived in Chicago and has made a job that spun Josh Fields in circles look relatively easy. On top of all that, the man can act. Check out Beckham when he starred in the hit '90s TV show Saved by the Bell.

              

Beckham circa 2009                       Beckham as teen prankster Zack Morris   

For real, though. Can we just take a second to appreciate Beckham's hairdo? I'm baffled that this hasn't gotten more attention.

What's that you ask? Is this fine specimen single? Eligible bachelorettes in Chicago can only hope. However, I'll let you be the judge. Click Here.

(Don't worry, Gordon. I would never call you "The Slayer")

Tiger Wins!

I am not a huge fan of Tiger Woods. However, I do have the utmost respect and admiration for his abilities on the golf course. Today, Woods won his third Buick Open at Warwick Hills. His second Buick Open win in 2006 was his 50th victory on the PGA Tour. In the three years since, Tiger has amassed a Hall of Fame career, even with sitting out more than half of 2008 recovering from knee surgery. Dating from July 2006, Tiger has won 21 of the 36 events he has entered, including four major championships. Even in baseball, a .583 batting average would be unheard of. In golf, though, a 58.3% winning percentage is unfathomable. Byron Nelson won 18 of 31 events in 1945. Woods dubbed that season as "one of the greatest streak in all of sports", but Lord Byron's 1945 winning percentage is even smaller than Woods's in the last 36 tournaments. To put Woods's successes into more perspective, World Golf Hall of Fame member, Ben Crenshaw, won 19 Tour events, including two major championships, in his nearly 30 year career. Woods has done more than Crenshaw just since win number 50. Only two men won more on the PGA Tour than Tiger. They are Jack Nicklaus and Sam Snead. Woods is only four wins away from the Golden Bear, and he is 14 victories away from becoming the winningest player ever on Tour. Many PGA Tour members play dozens of tournaments over the course of many years and never win once. Expectations are high for Woods, especially for fans unfamiliar with the difficulty of winning a PGA Tour event, but Tiger continues to exceed expectations.

Whiz Kids II?

Bruce Weber's freshman class of 2009 are on campus and starting to ball it up at the Ubben basketball complex. The freshmen have decided to coordinate their jersey numbers for the next season. DJ Richardson will wear 1, Joe Bertrand 2, Brandon Paul 3, and Tyler Griffey will wear 42 and continue his Jackie Robinson tribute.
This is easily the most exciting class that Bruce has brought in since the Dee Brown, Deron Williams, James Augustine, Kyle Wilson, and Aaron Spears class of 2002. Considering how much hype these new kids are getting, they need a nickname. I was racking my brain to come up with something original, which is tough because there have been some great Illini team nicknames in the past, The Whiz Kids, Aaron Spears and the Funky Bunch, The Peoria Posse, Does anyone want to take the keys from Jamar, Richard McBride is my babies daddy, and The Flying Illini, are just a few examples.

All I could come up with was DJ and the Runners, The Three Musketeers and Tyler, or the Whiz Kids II. Hopefully they will progress this season, and eventually a decent nickname will come to the surface.