Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Illini Basketball Preview: Demetri McCamey

Which one's our fat guard?

Yes, the slimmed down looking, 1984 Charles Barkley wannabe is looking great preseason wise. This is wonderful, considering last year he went from all big ten player to not even eligible for all crce all-stars and back and forth and back and forth from game to game. This is Sir Charles' line from last year: 11.5 ppg, 2.5 rpg (Yes, our round mound of rebound averaged less than three a game), 4.6 apg, 0.9 spg, 30.6 mpg, .411 FG, .313 3PT, .764 FT. So the supposed best player on our team (we can argue about whether this is Mike Davis or our tubby two guard later, by the way, that's what I'm going to call McCamey now that Richardson is going to run the point, tubby two guard, or ttg for short) averaged 11 points a game last year. While this is middle of the road, let's look at a larger break down of fat boy's season last year: 11/20, drops 23 points has six assists and shoots 5 of 10 from deep in a win against Vandy, three days later scores eight points against Jackson State with three turnovers in 16 minutes. 12/23, 20 points against a very good Missouri team then not 5 days later, 3 points in a close, 9 point win over a very crappy Eastern Michigan team. 1/14, scores 17 points, has five assists, and shoots 3 of six from deep leading us over Michigan, an NCAA tourney team, three days later is non-existent in a loss to Mich. St. playing 34 minutes, scoring 3 points, going 0 for 7 from behind the arc and turning the ball over three times. 1/24, 25 points, 7 assists against Wisconsin's tough defense, then five days later throws out this piece of garbage against Minnesota, where, by the way, we only scored 36 points as a team, 6 points, 2 assists, 3 turnovers. Why not just go out there, take a dump on half court, go back to the locker room and be done with it. 2/12, 21 points in a close win over Northwestern (you know U of I isn't as good as we should be when we have close wins over Northwestern), three days later, 2 points in a win over Indiana. Finally, against Purdue in the Big Ten Tourney Championship, McCamey is held scoreless and turns the ball over four times when we needed him the most (this was after Chester went down with a broken hand, some say this happened after his shanking of Jerrance Howard as he tried to steal Chester's Popeye's Chicken).

So what does all of this mean, you're asking. Well for Illinois to be effective and reach their Sweet 16 potential (yes, I believe and am drinking the Kool-Aid), we have to have someone on the outside that can take the pressure off Mike Davis on a consistent basis. McCamey seems to be the one talented enough to take on this role. This is a problem, as chronicled earlier, he is as inconsistent as they come, due to the fact that his heart cannot handle pumping that much cholesterol filled blood to all parts of his tubby extremities more than once a week. When your coach says that half the teams voted McCamey as all conference and the other half didn't even know he existed, that's not a good thing...granted Bruce just loves taking shots at McCamey, but there is truth to that statement. Illinois is starving for a good guard that can help our big guys by creating space for them on the inside, making sure defenses cannot just sag into the lane and take away the only shot Mike Tisdale knows how to hit, the 12 footer. For a school that was described as Guard U by ESPN in the late 90's and early 2000's, to not have a guard be all Big Ten since the wonderfully overrated Dee Brown, shows how far our outside play has fallen. We are depending on the undependable to help us get back to our rightful spot atop the Big Ten. Just keep him away from Mike Tisdale's diet.

Up Next: Mike "Don't Touch Me" Tisdale


  1. Nice research on Big Mac’s up and down season last year and I love seeing that the old-Illini reference train is still rolling… WOO WOO!

  2. Your insight uncanny, your analysis complete...but who the h_ll are you to critize by using childish terms like "fatty", "tubby" etc...what's you're body fat percentage? I have no problem with adult criticism...your writing like an emotionally scarred child! You must really be a site to not. And oh by the way, when was the last time you performed great under a national spot light? Dee Brown overrated? There are truly accurate words to describe you...but not in a public form...jerk!

  3. I agree with the above brave anoymous internet poster. Krone you are a fatass, and the only time that you have ever performed great under the national spotlight is when you poon guys on your webcam.

  4. Also, can you really expect a team with J-Ho as a coach to be in good physical condition. He lives in a tent in the food court so he never has to be more than 15 feet away from Taco Bell and Chick-fil-A.
    I mean, Mayor McCheese has a restraining order against Jerrance.
    In all seriousness Jerrance's nickname was "Snacks" WHILE HE WAS A SCHOLARSHIP PLAYER FOR ILLINOIS.

    I can't wait till you preview Stan "Whats My Name" Simpson


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