Thursday, December 31, 2009

Decade list: Top Ten White Role Players from the Big Ten

This is the only blog where you can find this list.  Maybe.
The criteria is that you have to be a role player in the truest sense, the player cannot be very good.  Also the role players on the list must have a very "white" game.   We all know what that means so I won't get into it.

Here is the list:

10. Spencer Tollackson, Minnesota 2004-08
Pictured above, I think the beard and the meat hook arms say it all.  He is the Aaron Gray of the Big Ten.

9. Brandon Fuss-Cheatham, Ohio State 2001-05
FUSSS!!  Really an indefensibly bad player.  He did manage to draw plenty of Fuss-chants from the Illini Crush.  So good for him.

8.  Dane Fife, Indiana 1998-2002
Only because Neil Reed played in the 90's.  Dane was the quintessential annoying Indiana guard and a holdover from the Knight era.  Almost was the biggest goat in the Indiana history when he fouled Jay Williams on a 3 in the Elite Eight with UI leading Duke by 4.  Thankfully for Dane, Jay missed the free throw and AJ Moye blocked Carlos Boozer's put-back attempt.

7. Trent Meacham, Illinois 2006-09
Talk about having a "white" game.  Trent did everything that white basketball players do well.  If he played in the 50's when basketball was white, Trent would have been a hall of famer.  Trent saved the Illini when Bruce decided not to recruit any good guards and Jamar fell off the wagon.  It is scary to think of how bad the Illini would have been without Trent. 

6. Adam Ballinger,  Michigan State 1999-2002
The tall redhead was a classic Tom Izzo big man.  Set screens, hit the occasional 15-foot jumper, and crash the boards like your life depends on it.  I think Adam wins Top Ginger of the Decade in the Big Ten.  There is no runner up.

5. Blake Hoffharber, Minnesota 2007-present
First of all, Blake earns points for having the whitest name on this list.  Secondly, Blake has hit not one but two miracle shots in his career.  I'm a big fan.  The first shot is in his high school championship, Blake hits the game winner sitting down.  Most people would have called it a career after that.  But not Blake.  In the 2008 Big Ten tournament against Indiana, he catches a full court pass in a crowd of players, then whirls and lunges up a left-handed shot (his off hand) and nails the game-winner.  Blake Hoffharber is the ultimate HORSE player.

4.  Brody Boyd, Iowa 2000-04
Listed at 5-11 165 pounds, Boyd was undersized for a high schooler.  Earns points for kind of looking like Nate Mast.  Boyd is the best shooter on the list, which is a good thing considering it was literally the only skill he had.  There have been a lot of white guards from Iowa, but Boyd stands out as the really small one that could really shoot.

3. Joe Krabbenhoft, Wisconsin 2005-09
Krabbenhoft is basically every player for Wisconsin.  White, large, Nordic looking, elbows people in the head

2. Brian Butch, Wisconsin 2004-08
Earns points for having a hillarious nickname in the Polar Bear.  Was a big white guy who could shoot the 3.  Another anecdote about Butch is that he has to be the only McDonald's All-American ever to voluntarily redshirt his freshman year.  That is the only reason that he wasn't automatically thrown off this list for being a McD's All-American.

1. Lucas Johnson, Illinois 1998-2002
 Lucas is the gold standard for this list.  These players were essentially judged on how Lucas Johnson-like they were.  Lucas is the reason that College Basketball is great.  He was always on the floor, taking charges and annoying the hell out of opponents.      

1 comment:

  1. In retrospect, I would like to sincerely apologize to Tim Bograkos. It was an egregious mistake to leave him off the list.


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