Wednesday, August 5, 2009

97.5 million. Really?

The Giants just signed lil' Eli to a contract extension worth $97.5 million over 6 years. The contract at 15.3 million a season, makes him the third highest paid player in the NFL after Julius Peppers and Carson Palmer. This is pretty amazing because no one in their right mind would rank Eli in the top 5 QBs in the NFL. Somewhere in Mississippi, Cooper Manning is grinding his teeth and muttering under his breath about how he could have been the greatest.

This got me thinking about some ridiculous sports contracts, and I came up with 5 that I thought were especially excessive.

1. Cristiano Ronaldo for Real Madrid, record setting $130 mil. transfer fee, just for the opportunity to sign him, and $15.5 per season for six years with a 25% increase. All this comes $304 mil total. That means he costs Real $50.67 mil per year for him. This dwarfs A-Rod's $27.5 mil per, widely considered on of the most lavish contracts in American sports. All that for a guy who weighs 165 pounds and has a faux hawk haircut.

2. Derek Jeter, the Yankees, 10 years $189 mil. He just doesn't deserve it. The average shortstop in the A.L. this year is making $2.7 mil. and Jeter is making $21.6 mil. It sickens me.

3. Eddy Curry, New York Knicks, 6 years $60 million dollars. Wow. 60 mil for a fat, 6-10 guy with a bad attitude and a heart defect. Who sees Eddy Curry play and wants him to be a part of their team? I wouldn't take him for a pick-up game at the Y. Every Bulls fan should go and write Isaiah Thomas a thank you card.

4. Milton Bradley, everybody's best friend. 3 years $30 million, plus incentives for moping and having a bad attitude.

5. Whatever the Reds are paying Dusty Baker to manage them. If its more than nothing, he's being grossly overpaid.


  1. Dude, I love how Cooper isn't a fan of his brothers (or at least in our minds he isn't). We need to write a movie about it. It can be called "Coop" and will end with Cooper and Archie (who secretly loves Cooper the most) challenging the younger Mannings to a game of two-on-two. Cooper and Archie win the game, but Coop becomes tragically paralyzed as a result. From then on Cooper sits in his wheelchair and watches his brothers NFL games with a smile on his face, knowing that he was still the best.

  2. Yeah, I just know that Cooper hates his brothers success. I like the Coop movie idea, we can have Dennis Quaid play the overly competitive and conflicted Archie, Eric Bana as the resiliant Cooper, Seth Rogan will be Coop's hillarious and loyal best friend, and Gweneth Paltrow will play Peyton. Also we'll work in Martin Lawrence as Rogan's stepfather because he not in enough movies anymore.


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