10 things that are better than watching Chicago baseball today

The Cubs and the White Sox are each playing meaningless doubleheaders today in Chicago. That means 4 games resulting in approx 16 hours worth of bad baseball teams playing out the string. I came up with a list of things to do in place of watching.

10. Do a statistical regression analysis for Gordon Beckham's future numbers. Including the exact day that he will be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

9. Watch all 8 hours of the behind the scenes footage for the Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

8. Build a tree fort.

7. Watch hours of YouTube footage of current and future Illini basketball recruits and become irrationally excited about the future.

6. Write a letter to Ryan Theriot telling him all the different, complex emotions that you feel for him. A letter that you'll never send.

5. Go to Milton Bradley's son's preschool and call everyone there a n-word or a n-word lover. It's okay. It's that kind of preschool.

4. Write an internet blog. ... okay, maybe not.

3. Play a season of NCAA Football 08. It's all about the recruiting.

2. Participate in a Civil War reenactment.

1. Take Milton Bradley's mom Charlena Rector out to a nice seafood dinner and never call her again.